Is life feeling hard right now? Feeling in pieces from the demands of the world? Work colleagues, managers, siblings, friends, romantic partners, parents, children, people in our community - all of these relationships affect us for good or for bad. Even the rude person on your morning commute can be affective, especially if you are already feeling 'full of stuff' and stressed.
Life doesn't always show us what we expect to achieve or receive. And we can then start to doubt our own capaciities, experience anxiety or depression, feel unloved or distracted, unable to communicate calmly and feel settled, to be ok in our skin. Seeking help before things feel unresolvable or too tragic to talk about is more likely to produce a good outcome. Ready? As a relationship specialist I can work with you on any relational issue.
Change is possible
Letting go of other peoples criticisms, opinions and judgements can feel like taking off a very heavy coat. Every small shift in how we feel changes how we interact with others.
Many of us are still affected by the pandemic directly or indirectly. Our society has changed and many are feeling a litle lost in those changes. Changes in work are still ongoing, still being isolated in your work role at home or being dragged back to the office? Trying to be 'hybrid' and feeling stretched from both ends? Facing job changes or redundancy?
Loneliness is rising, mental health seems to be something we think of only in terms of mental unwellness these days. Many are worrying about climate change, political changes and world tensions.
Is there any wonder that so many are frazzled, and that emotion bursts out onto loved ones?
Therapy one to one, or two to one for couples, looks at your issues, your feelings, your needs, your expectations; and seeks to reconnect you to yourself and to the significant people in your life, feeling lighter and more able to express your feelings.
Couples come in all ages, sizes, shapes, colours, creeds and orientations. If you regard yourselves as a duo, a twosome, couples therapy is there for you. The focus is about the quality of the relationship, what the relationship needs, and how both parties contribute to creating that and how to make it healthy again. Many couples say ' our only problem is that we don't communicate' - all humans communicate due to our animal nature. Not speaking, turning away, finding things to fill your time with other than your partner, being critical , refusing physical contact - these might not feel like communicating - they are very much communicating in a negative way, which creates a downward spiral in the relationship. Finding the 'good' in the relationship and making that bigger and brighter gives some energy to getting past the 'bad and achieving change. Events such as affairs, betrayals, overspending, family pressure or interference, can have a deeper affect require some deeper work to resolve the issues before rebuilding the relationship.
Change is possible - it takes a little work, its worth it.
Counselling and therapy can be seen as the same or very different things. For me, therapy is a longer term commitment to work at a slower pace, explore deeper, more complex issues and work out the who/what/where/why and when of how our sense of disconnection, unhappiness or mental unwellness was created. Counselling is a shorter term commitment to work through one or two things, often more current niggles. And one kind of work can morph into another whenever needed. We can be working towards an outcome, perhaps a resolution or solution, or the work can simply be a process of exploring the inner layers of thinkings and feelings, its up to you what you are seeking to achieve. In couples work, there is more usually a goal or solution-based exploration to change unhappiness.
I work mainly online, usually on Monday and Thursday. Other days are sometimes possible, please do enquire.
I'm able to be more flexible on session times when working online, there isn't anyone waiting at the office door. I generally work during school time and early evenings. Some early or late starts are possible depending on commitments already in my diary, please talk to me about what is possible.. Generally, the first online session starts between 9.30am and 10am; the last session starts between 6.30pm and 7pm.
It is also possible to book a slightly shorter or longer session to fit in with your needs. Online work can be intense though, so I will suggest what is useful. The first session will always be one hour. Paperwork, assessment material and information will be emailed to you in advance of the session.
I aim to provide an initial session of counselling within two calendar weeks, if you are flexible on times, and ongoing sessions within another week or so for daytime appointments, evening sessions may be a few weeks. I generally hold weekly or fortnightly sessions, they can be at the same time and day each time, or vary according to your needs. A face to face session can also be an online session the next time, etc. It can be better for your own long term benefit to commit to working to a resolution, not to sweep feelings back under the carpet as soon as you start to feel better.
Fees for 2025
Couples work, £70 per one hour session. Individuals, £60 per session.
Concessions (not accruable): 5% reduction for each block booking of 4 sessions. £5 reduction per session for Blue LIght Card holders. Reduction for students dependent on circumstances.
Existing clients continue on their current fee to the end of their contract. Returning clients pick up where they left off in the fee schedule (up to 3 years since the last therapy).
Sessions are paid for on booking - I will send you an iZettle link to pay online. Fees for sessions ahead of time are stored securely and can be refunded to you if you give me notice a clear 48 hours before the time of the booked appointment.
Online
Online work is cost effective for clients as travel costs and travel time are removed. I do ask clients to ensure that they have privacy to talk, are not interrupted by others, and do not access any alcohol or recereational drugs before or during the session.
Office
On Tuesday, I work face to face in the Horbury office. This is a fixed timetable, simply to prevent having people queuing or overlapping other sessions.
Work times are 10.15 am, 11.30am, 12.45pm, 4.15pm, 5.30pm, 6.45pm. office sessions are fixed at an hour, and will start and end on time.
Although my work address is published on this site, its not possible to drop in to book, pay or ask questions.
My office is on the second floor, there is a lift or stairs, female toilets on the ground and first floor, male toilets on the second floor and there is a disabled toilet on the ground floor; however I can only see people who can be ambulant in a fire, the building unfortunately does not provide an evac chair or stair-free egress for disabled persons. The office entrance is accessed via a level access path or one short flight of stairs.
Reduced fees - I have one session per week for those on a low income or needing very long term help. This session is currently full, if you would like to register to take that up in the future please call me.
Contracting between us
The first session stands alone. If you decide to take ongoing work with me, I will ask you to commit to two sessions at a time to keep a continuity between us and the work. When therapy gets to sticky places, its easy to give up, push the feelings back down. Having a commitment in the diary seems to help most people to stick with it. See above about the security of fees.
For couples who are discussing separation, sessions are one at once.
Very specialised work
I work with referrals from a specialist in sex and porn addiction. I work in support of the partners, to help with the shock, the realisation, processing 'what next'. This is not interactive, neither therapist reports back to the other, we work with the individuals completely separately.
What I can't help with.
I no longer work with people who have current or recent involvement with the Police, Social Services or Cafcass regarding Domestic Violence, Child Protection or Safeguarding.
I'm not able to work with people who have diagnosed addictions to alcohol or gambling, sex or porn addiction. I can refer to speciaists in this area within my colleague team so its worth giving me a call. I can take on couples or individual work once addictions are overcome. I'm also not able to work with people who have a psychiatric diagnosis.